The sun was low and orange. My sister, Maya, and I sat on a bench by the pier. Birds cried in the air. Waves hit the rocks. It should have been calm. But Maya’s hands shook around her coffee cup. She jumped when a bike bell rang. Her eyes looked so tired, but she said she had not slept for days.
I felt my chest tighten. Was I missing something big? Was she just stressed, or was this a real problem? My mind looked for clues, for a way to name it, for how to tell if someone is ‘not okay’ without being mean or wrong. I did not want to judge her. I wanted to help her.
Have you been here, too? Watching someone you love act “off” and being scared you’ll make it worse? Do you wonder if this is just a phase, or a sign you must act now? What if you speak up and they pull away? What if you stay quiet and things get worse?
Why Does Someone Act So Irrationally?
Maya snapped at small things. A tiny noise. A late bus. A spilled drink. It felt like too much. But as we talked, I saw her body was always tense. She was wired and stuck in a loop. That can look like “bad behavior,” but often it is stress and worry running the show. These states push the brain into fight-or-flight. Choices get fast and sharp. Reactions seem “too big.”
In their blog, “5 Secret Signs of Anxiety Even Experts Miss,” Alter Behavioral Health explains how constant stress shows up in the body—tight muscles, headaches, and overload from noise or light. These are signs that the body and brain feel flooded.
Science backs this up. A recent review by Andreadi et al. (2025) looked at how our stress hormone, cortisol, follows a daily clock. Shift work and ongoing stress can scramble that clock. When cortisol peaks and dips at the wrong times, people get jumpy, moody, and act fast. The study used data from real workers and explained why behavior can look “irrational” when the body clock is off.
The study showed simple first steps: steady sleep, morning light, less bright light at night, and a calm evening routine. It sounds small, but it helps the body’s rhythm.
When I helped Maya dim the lights at night and take a short walk in the morning, her snap reactions softened. It did not fix everything. But it opened the door.
What Causes Someone to Behave Erratically?
“Erratic” is a hard word. But it fits when moods swing and plans keep changing. With Maya, some days she was happy. The next day, she canceled everything. She was not lazy. She was tired of hiding how low she felt.
People with “high-functioning” depression often look fine on the outside. Inside, they fight with focus, sleep, and hope. Alter’s blog lists clear signs: always tired, pulling away from friends, trouble concentrating, and more. If you see these patterns, it is not drama. It is a warning.
Mousavi et al. (2025) followed people over time to study stress, worry, and mood. They found that symptoms do not move in a straight line. They rise and fall with life events. It helps explain “erratic” behavior. It is not random. It follows stress and past hurt.
The study used a “multi-wave” design, which means the researchers checked the same people again and again. It shows real change over time. Knowing this, you can track routines, see triggers, and plan help early. A mood diary or a shared calendar can be a simple tool.
With Maya, we wrote down what changed on “bad days.” Late-night scrolling? Skipped meals? No walk? We saw the pattern. We planned around it. Erratic became clear.
How to Know If They’re Mentally Unwell
I kept asking myself: how to know if they’re mentally unwell without jumping to labels. I did not want to say the wrong thing. Clear signs helped.
Alter lists “16 Signs of a Mentally Unstable Person,” like long sadness, confusion, mood swings, sleep changes, and pulling away from others. These are not insults. They are signals that someone needs help. If you see many of these signs for two weeks or more, it’s time to speak and reach out.
Early help matters. A 2024 cohort study by Chai et al. looked at a program for people with first-episode psychosis. It compared the results before and after the program. The program was linked to fewer cases of self-harm and suicide. The team tracked real patients over time.
The lesson matters even if your loved one does not have psychosis: the earlier the support, the better the outcome. If your gut says, “This is not normal for them,” act kindly and act soon.
With Maya, we set a check-in time every evening. Not a heavy talk. Just, “How was today?” It kept the door open.
Why Is My Loved One Acting Strangely
Sometimes “strange” means thoughts that don’t match reality. Or hearing or seeing things others do not. Or feeling watched. That is scary for everyone. You don’t need to diagnose. You just need to notice.
Alter’s explainer on psychosis vs. schizophrenia shows how someone can have psychosis even without schizophrenia, and why early care helps. It also explains how reality checks can slip and how fear rises fast during these times.
Family support matters a lot. Gleeson et al. (2025) conducted a systematic review and meta-analysis to look at family-based care for early psychosis. They looked across many studies and found that family programs helped both patients and families. Families learned what to say, how to set limits, and when to call for help. That lowered stress in the home and lowered relapse.
Maya was not psychotic, but I still used these tools. I practiced calm voice, short sentences, and no sarcasm. Our talks got safer.
What are the Signs of Mental Instability
“Instability” often shows up first in sleep, energy, and focus. You see late nights, naps at odd hours, and hard mornings. You might also see pacing, restlessness, or long, dull stretches.
Alter’s post on hidden anxiety signs mentions body signs like stomach pain, shaking, and changes in eating. These can be easy to miss. Notice them. They often show up with mood changes and sleep trouble.
Sleep and mental health affect each other both ways. A 2024 review by Howarth and Miller looked at studies on sleep and mental health. It showed that poor sleep makes anxiety and depression worse, and those same problems then make sleep worse.
That is why small sleep steps matter: less screen time at night, steady bedtime, morning light, and gentle movement during the day. These basics help therapy and medicine if needed. They also allow you to notice warning signs sooner.
When Maya kept a steady bedtime routine, her mornings stopped feeling so hard. Her mood evened out. Small steps, big wins.
Asking for Help the Right Way
The biggest lesson I learned? You don’t need a diagnosis to ask for help. You only need to notice and speak with care.
Alter’s blogs on anxiety, depression, PTSD, and schizophrenia give simple ways to spot patterns and connect with care.
When Maya and I finally made that call, it was the turning point.
That night, I stopped asking myself how to tell if someone is not okay and started asking, “How can I help Maya feel safe and seen?” We used tiny steps with sleep and light. We named it stress. We kept check-ins short and kind. We read clear guides. We asked for help.
That is why I trust Alter Behavioral Health. Their blog makes hard things simple. Their care teams use therapy, skills, family support, and medicine when needed. They meet people where they are and build steady plans.
If your loved one needs care—or if you do—reach out today. A short call can change the next week and the next year.
Call Alter Behavioral Health to start a plan now.
FAQs
1) What is a kind way to start this talk?
Try: “I notice you’re sleeping less and seem stressed. I care about you. Can we look for help together?”
2) How many signs should I look for before I act?
If you see several signs for two weeks or more, speak up and reach out for care.
3) Does “erratic” behavior always mean a serious disorder?
No. It can be stress, poor sleep, ADHD, or health issues, but it still deserves care.
4) What if they deny there’s a problem?
Stay calm, name what you see, set loving limits, and keep the door open.
5) Can better sleep help with mood swings?
Yes. Many studies show that sleep and mood affect each other both ways.
6) When should I consider emergency help?
If there’s talk of self-harm, suicide, or harm to others, call emergency services right away.
7) What if I worry about psychosis?
Seek fast, coordinated care. Early help lowers relapse and improves outcomes.
8) Can family support make things worse?
Not when trained. Family programs reduce stress and improve results.
9) Where can I learn gentle conversation skills?
Alter’s blog has many posts that model calm language and next steps.
10) Why stop saying “not okay”?
It hurts and confuses. Say what you see (“not sleeping,” “very anxious”) and offer help using resources like Alter’s guides.
